and Mother of the Year is........

Well, not exactly.

For the past three weeks my oldest has been to Holiday World with her grandparents, and off to two week long church summer camps. In the effort to tame the laundry beast that comes calling when kids go out of town for several weeks in a row, I was desperately trying to get caught up on laundry Sunday morning while I was packing another duffel bag for her next trip and dressing the family for church. In the process of sorting, folding, packing the bag and dressing the little one, I left the TV on and our youngest overheard the lovely phrase "You dirty bastard!" Well, she quickly turns to her sister and yells "YOU DIRTY BASTARD" as they were getting ready for Sunday school. Chris is not amused and demands we all leave for church immediately in order to redeem our souls before other obscenities spew from the little one's mouth. I finished getting the kids dressed and now it is fifteen minutes before church begins and I have yet to shower or dress myself. Chris sees this as a hopeless cause and quietly decides to let me finish packing the bags for camp while he takes the potty mouth and her angelic sister to church. Off they go and I find more suitable TV to entertain myself while I dive into the mountain of clothes.

I was having a ball folding, sorting, washing and watching Liz Taylor in Taming of the Shrew, when they returned home from church. Chaos begins as I try to finish packing the bags. Please note at this time not all the clothes were ready to go in the duffel bag because most of them were still in the dryer. Lilly tries to help me by shoving random clothes in her bag that are not hers, then Chris begins yelling about how we have to be in Nashville in thirty minutes or we will miss the church bus and he doesn't want to drive to Birmingham, Alabama to drop Lilly off at camp, when I become distracted. Unaware of all that Lilly is trying to stuff in the bag, I notice it will not zip and I dump the contents on the love seat. In the process of repacking the bag with Lilly's clothes I leave out the most important piece of clothing that everyone needs on a daily basis. Yep, you guessed it! I sent my oldest to a weeklong church camp in Birmingham, Alabama with no underwear!

See, I really deserve to be Mother of the Year and the year is only half through. I have managed to raise one with the vocabulary of a sailor and the other has no underwear. I wonder what the rest of 2011 will bring?