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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

How to ruin a movie for over twenty strangers...A How to Guide

Here is the background story before the guide....

My plan for our Crystal Anniversary which was Wednesday August 31st, was to spend all day Saturday watching all the summer blockbusters with my awesome hubby of fifteen years and pigging out on popcorn without any children around to bother us. When Lizzie and I started getting sick at 4 am Friday morning I knew the weekend was over for Chris and me. I had no idea that it would be over for some many more either.



Monday, I decided that since no one else in our family, namely Chris and Lilly, were showing signs of the ominous stomach virus that derailed our 15th wedding anniversary weekend of awesomeness, that we would take the girls to the movies with us.

We arrived at the Windsong Theater in Murfreesboro around 3:45 pm to purchase our tickets to Harry Potter #7 part 2 for me and Lilly and Chris and Lizzie were going to watch The Smurfs. See, I thought of an age appropriate movie for the little monster. In order to tackle the long line at the ticket counter and the concession stands we split up. I took the girls with me to get the snacks and Chris went to fight the mob in the ticket line. As I am standing in a long line at the concession stand, Lilly keeps telling me she wants a bottle of water. I say fine no problem when we get up to the counter I will get you one. She asked several more times and by this time it is 4:15 pm and my movie is starting. We are still in line trying to purchase popcorn. We finally get up to the teenager that cannot multitask and think outside the box and place our order. My patience is wearing thin because the kids are asking for candy, popcorn, bottle water, cokes, etc. Chris has now joined the group and we are trying to get snacks for four people going to two different movies and the bottle water cooler is locked. I sent Lilly further down the line to get her water because she wouldn't hush about wanting a bottle of water.

We now have our snacks and tickets but Lilly has yet to rejoin us. As we are walking around the back of the crowd to retrieve Lilly, and I am holding straws, napkins, a full large bucket of Carmike popcorn and two large drinks, I see her standing there looking lost at the drink cooler. I snap at her and tell her to get a move on or we will miss our movie. She looks up at me and just seems lost. At this time, I see she is standing in pool of vomit and I curtly state, "Grab the water and lets go!" It did not register with me that it was Lilly that just puked all over the drink cooler and the floor with about twenty people standing around her in two lines at the concession stand. Two ladies kept trying to tell me she had just thrown up and I thought they were talking about some else. Lilly has no puke on her but she is standing there in a pool of puke! It didn't register in my stressed out mommy brain that my child had just puke on twenty people! I just ordered to her to move her butt because our movie was starting. It wasn't until I asked why her ticket was wet that it dawned on me that is was Lilly that puked on the those people and the drink cooler! We hauled ass to the girl taking tickets and quickly went to the restroom after I helped Chris carry his and Lizzie stuff to their movie. After dropping Chris and Lizzie off, Lilly is crying and begging to still see Harry Potter. So, I sent her to the bathroom to wash her hands and to clean up a bit. She continued to beg to see the movie and with two previews left we strolled into a pack theater and took the last two seats near the door on the floor. We watched the movie without further instance and waited until most of the crowd had cleared before we exited through one of the back doors of the theater. And if you are curious, no I did not let her eat any of my popcorn!

So, here is how you ruin a movie for over twenty strangers....

1. Contract a stomach virus
2. Pass on stomach virus to your closest family members and friends with a 24 to 48 hour incubation period
3. Really, really want to go to a movie on a holiday
4. Miss all the warning signs your child is going to puke on strangers
5. Send child to go puke on strangers
6. Run like hell!!!!!!

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