Buzz, Buzz, Buzz

The thirteen year slumber for cicadas is over and the invasion is now in full swing. It makes me giggle to see Chris freak out whenever one of these nasty, red eyed, flying creatures sets their sights on him. He almost lost his cool tonight while we sat in the drive-thru line at Checkers on NW Broad Street in the 'Boro.

Apparently, after we had left the hospital from visiting a friend that had a baby, a cicada thought it would acceptable hitch a ride on Chris' shorts. Chris had no idea there was a hitchhiker attached to his shorts until it went "Buzz, Buzz, Buzz" while we were waiting in the drive-thru line. Chris looked down and this cicada was attached to the middle top cover of his pants' zipper. He almost had a melt down trying to pry the little bug's claws off of his pants! If I had been drinking anything when I saw him start swatting at his crotch I would have spit it all over the car. I was laughing like a good wife but this did not seem to help the situation at all. Once the cicada was free from Chris' shorts, he knocked it to the floorboard and then proceeded to stomp on it. I think the poor guy at Checkers thought Chris was nuts and about to lose his mind over a bug. I, on the other hand, continued to laugh. After the Checkers guy handed Chris our dinner, Chris quickly pulled out of the drive-thru line into the empty parking lot and threw the car into park. He then grabbed the floor mat with the still twitching cicada and tossed the bug along with anything else on the floor mat into the grass. All the while mumbling how much he hated these bugs and he cannot wait for them to go back underground for another thirteen years. I was a little shocked at his reaction to this harmless and ungly bug.

Chris and I have been married for almost fifteen years and I had no clue that he hated flying things. During the last cicada outbreak he kept his distance from the little buggers while I swatted them with tennis racquets. This was the highlight of my summer years ago! On Peleliu, I learned he hated bats and now over a year later I have learned he hates cicadas. Poor Chris, if he hates flying things, no wonder he has never felt very comfortable with me flying him around in an airplane.

I have taken Chris flying twice. The first time my flight instructor demonstrated a full stall. Chris wasn't wearing a connected headset and he had no clue we were not failing from the sky! You should have seen his arms and legs shoot out to both sides of the airplane as he tried to brace himself from failing out of the sky. The look of panic and horror on is face was priceless.

The second trip wasn't as bad because he made me swear I would never scare him like that again since he had a fear of flying. After taking off from KMBT (Murfreesboro's airport) we experienced slight engine trouble and declared an emergency. We quickly returned to the ground but poor Chris had no idea we were experiencing engine trouble. He was seated in the back seat taking pictures of the countryside like a fat and happy little clam. It wasn't until we were on a straight approach and I was no longer flying the plane that he notice something was wrong. I quickly told him about our situation and we would be on the ground in a few minutes. My flight instructor glided to plane back to the safety of the earth below. Upon further inspection a $15 cable was to blame and was repaired off-site. Chris hasn't flown with me since the emergency landing. I wonder why?

Poor Chris has to suffer a few more weeks of the cicada invasion. He is tired of them hitting our windshield at 60 mph, scooping them out of the pool, and the girls chasing him around the yard with them in their hands. Hang in there Sweetie, the cicada invasion of 2011 is almost over....Now where did I put that old tennis racquet?